I am overwhelmed. I am staring at God wondering how He tolerates me..and completely overcome by His love for me.
"He is jealous for me.(How He Loves by David Crowder)
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
O, how He loves us so
O, how He loves us
O, how He loves us so"
I have felt--abandoned.
There is a difference between feeling unloved and abandoned.
I don't doubt God loves me, but I confess I feel for whatever reason, He has left me to simply endure or learn some hard lesson or--I don't know. I only know He is silent, and silence when my pain rages and He has power to act only feels like abandonment.
I have begged for help with all the things where I feel overwhelmed, and I know He has given me answers about some of them, but I get so overwhelmed by everything else. I don't know how to deal with it all, and some days are so full of so much that I simply dread facing them.
This week, especially yesterday, I have been so angry. All these promises, and I am seeing nothing.
And I can do nothing else.
I feel like a failure across the board, and I can't find answers. Don't know where else to look.
But God has promised good things? So where are they?