I usually didn't have a good example. This time, I have GREAT examples.
A few weeks ago I shared Jan's response. I didn't do it to embarrass her. Quite the opposite.
Her response blessed me, left me humbled, and bolstered my resolve.
If this kind of warrior is standing with me and is convinced I can still make it through this battle and take the Promised Land and somehow she finds some kind of encouragement from my being on the battlefield, I will not walk away. Unless the King clearly says I am needed else where, I will not leave the battalion where He has assigned me.
I know Jan probably felt like she was sharing her brokenness, and she did with beautiful bravery, but she also shared her courage. She didn't feel like getting out of bed. She didn't feel like she could make a difference, but she was going to give what she had, and THAT is where the battle is won. THAT is what encourages other warriors to keep standing and to keep fighting.
THAT is what encouraged me.
I thank God she did get out of bed that day and she did find her way to her computer, did read my white flag post, and did find me through the screaming sound of the assault against her. Who knew such a seemingly "simple act" could have such a big effect? And yet it did, and I don't know what effects are coming. What I know is whatever spoils of war come to me by keeping this blog open is hers as well.
But not just hers. There were other search-and-rescue responses...
"I may have been a stranger the past couple of months but please do know that you continue to be an encouragement to me. Your words resonate the deep longings and deep hurt along this journey I have and been going through when all I can say is 'I no longer can' and you lift my spirit in a way that only someone who can truly empathize, not just sympathize, can. I love you, Ms. Jerri and I praise the Lord for you!"This made me cry. I have been there so many times. SO many times, and I just wanted someone to understand. For God to allow me the grace...the honor...to be the one who understands...no words...only amazed tears...
"It makes a difference, Jerri. Every blog you write makes a difference. Every time you share the deep, hurty places, it makes a difference. It is in our weakness that we connect and are seen by others in this place alongside you. Today, God gave me words for you. See my blog. Love you big! "I read this, and my first response was, "SHE FELT SEEN!!!"
Have you ever been there? Where you just need to feel seen? I have. I have known the feelings of just needing to be seen. That God would use me to offer such treasure...more tears...
There are times when I read others' blogs, and they touch me deep, and I consider leaving a comment...but don't.
I'd probably sound like a dork. They probably wouldn't care about some stranger who can't even explain why this blog about the number of fish in a net made me sob. They'd think I was weird anyway. They probably have all kinds of folks leaving comments.
...what can my words mean to them?
They just wrote this amazing thing that was clearly God speaking through them to me. Surely they hear God...surely they know...
...They know the fatigue of standing when the assault is relentless...
Sometimes they see only the hoard getting closer...without realizing it is because of the ground they are taking.
Sometimes they are so focused on what is coming at them, they do not see the people they are defending standing safely behind them.
And sometimes...they get tired...sometimes the blood loss feels greater than the victory gained...if there is victory gained. Sometimes they don't know.Dear ones, warriors know the battle. They see the onslaught. They see the enemy. They hear the shrill whistles of incoming. They feel the hits. They know the fatigue of standing when the assault is relentless.
Sometimes even warriors need the Cavalry.